The opening: “Walking past a half-naked couple making out next to a picnic basket, Artemis West wished she could turn invisible. I never thought my first assignment would involve working magic in front of a park full of hippies.”
It’s 1968, Robert Kennedy has just been assassinated, and the country is mourning. And as Artemis soon discovers, her job as a Secret Service sorcerer is about to get much more complicated, thanks to a British black magician and a bronze-skinned, golden-eyed drifter, Diana Savage. Whose father is some kind of brilliant scientist and philanthropist, and everyone expects her to follow in his wake. So she’s run away for a summer of love before she heads to college. Only there are innocent people in danger, and in her heart she’s her father’s child …
Why yes, this is the story about Doc Savage’s daughter that I wrote about starting several years ago. As noted at the link, I’d wanted to write about her (or more precisely my version of her) since the early 1980s, but never came up with a story. Then I hit on teaming her up with Art West, great grandson of James West, the hero of Wild Wild West now following family tradition by working for the Secret Service, though as a mage.
That frankly floored me when I reread it. Now that I think about it I can dimly remember Artemus West, but he’s been Artemis and female so long I didn’t remember it any other way (Jim West’s partner was Artemus Gordon. So descendants are stuck with the name). Although as I write a lot of male/female teams, it’s not surprising (I’ve no idea why I switched).I do know the basic concept shaped up early. Mages in the Secret Service actually have a dull gig. All they do is go around and touch up the bindings Native American shamans used to lock various Lovecraftian outsiders away. As long as the mages do their job, the outsiders can’t get out.Except that when Artemis goes to check the local bindings (originally San Francisco, but it eventually shifted to the Midwest) she discovers someone is letting outsiders loose. Which is, of course, bad. Even with a bronze teenage tornado who fights like ten men (she’s Doc Savage’s daughter. She’s been well-trained) Artemis has a hard time stopping the bad guy.Unfortunately I had no idea what the bad guy planned to do. Or what his plan was — I wanted multiple encounters between his monsters and the women. Or exactly how to stop him. Eventually I figured it out, with the help of Lester Dent’s plotting formula — appropriate as he created Doc. I also trimmed back a lot of the in-jokes. I wanted to make sure that someone who’d never heard of Jim West or Doc Savage could still enjoy the story. That meant avoiding anything that would make readers stop and go “Huh? What’s that supposed to refer to?” There’s one reference to Artemis’ family (creepy uncle Herbert West, from an HP Lovecraft story) but nothing more. Perhaps if there’s a next time …Then I shared it with some beta-readers who made some good suggestions. First, that as the malevolent Covenant-Price doesn’t appear until the end, it’s hard to build him as an antagonist. Now he’s in multiple scenes. Second, that there were places I needed to make things even weirder in a couple of places. I think I succeeded.Lorelei Signal is free, so go ahead and check it out. Especially my contribution.